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Humorous

  • When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

    ~ Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) 1835 - 1910 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

    ~ Albert Einstein 1879 - 1955 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If you speak when you’re angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Half this game is ninety percent mental.

    ~ Lawrence "Yogi" Berra - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

    ~ Drew Carey - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • It is not all butter that a cow drops

    ~ John Heywood 1497 - 1580 Posted By: anonymous

     

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