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Humorous

  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • It is well for people to change their minds occasionally in order to keep them clean.

    ~ Luther Burbank 1849 - 1926 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

    ~ Al Unser - Posted By: Bill C

     
  • If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

    ~ Bill Cosby - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • It is not all butter that a cow drops

    ~ John Heywood 1497 - 1580 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The way to be successful is to follow the advice you give to others.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     

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