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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
~ Bill Cosby -
Posted By: anonymous
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
~ Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) 1835 - 1910
Posted By: anonymous
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When your feet hit the floor each morning, do you make your enemy the devil say, "Oh crap, he's up"?
~ Dr. Tony Evans -
Posted By: anonymous
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Let’s have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
~ Elvis Presley 1935 - 1977
Posted By: anonymous
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
~ Drew Carey -
Posted By: anonymous