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I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
~ Robert Downey, Jr. -
Posted By: anonymous
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
~ Bill Cosby -
Posted By: anonymous
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When your feet hit the floor each morning, do you make your enemy the devil say, "Oh crap, he's up"?
~ Dr. Tony Evans -
Posted By: anonymous
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Never test the waters with both feet.
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
~ Charles Barkley -
Posted By: Bill C
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Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous
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So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous