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Humorous

  • “Meow” means “woof” in cat.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

    ~ Robin Williams - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Let’s have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Balancing the budget is like protecting your virtue. You just have to learn to say no.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     

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