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Humorous

  • Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

    ~ Bill Cosby - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Half this game is ninety percent mental.

    ~ Lawrence "Yogi" Berra - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Look at me. Worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

    ~ S.J. Perelan 1904 - 1979 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

    ~ Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) 1835 - 1910 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

    ~ Lord Byron 1788 - 1824 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • “Meow” means “woof” in cat.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     

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