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Humorous

  • I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

    ~ Robert Downey, Jr. - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

    ~ Bill Cosby - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When your feet hit the floor each morning, do you make your enemy the devil say, "Oh crap, he's up"?

    ~ Dr. Tony Evans - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Why can’t problems hit us when we’re seventeen and we know everything?

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Balancing the budget is like protecting your virtue. You just have to learn to say no.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     

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