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Humorous

  • Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

    ~ Drew Carey - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Never test the waters with both feet.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     

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