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The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous
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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
~ Jeff Foxworthy -
Posted By: Bill C
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
~ Woody Allen -
Posted By: anonymous
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Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
~ Bill Cosby -
Posted By: anonymous
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Hooray for most things!
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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If we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
~ Steven Wright -
Posted By: anonymous
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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous