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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Hooray for most things!
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous
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If we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
~ Steven Wright -
Posted By: anonymous
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Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous
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Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
~ Charles Barkley -
Posted By: Bill C