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Humorous

  • If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

    ~ Albert Einstein 1879 - 1955 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The way to be successful is to follow the advice you give to others.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If there was a way to read a woman’s mind, I am not sure I would want to. I hate shoes, shopping, gossip, and I already know I am annoying.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • “Meow” means “woof” in cat.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     

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