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Humorous

  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • He who throws dirt loses ground.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If you speak when you’re angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     

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