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Humorous

  • The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When your feet hit the floor each morning, do you make your enemy the devil say, "Oh crap, he's up"?

    ~ Dr. Tony Evans - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If you speak when you’re angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

    ~ Al Unser - Posted By: Bill C

     
  • If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

    ~ Robert Downey, Jr. - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Balancing the budget is like protecting your virtue. You just have to learn to say no.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     

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