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If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
~ Robin Williams -
Posted By: anonymous
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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
~ Elvis Presley 1935 - 1977
Posted By: anonymous
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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
~ Woody Allen -
Posted By: anonymous
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Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous