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Humorous

  • One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

    ~ Charles Barkley - Posted By: Bill C

     
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

    ~ Bill Cosby - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

    ~ Woody Allen - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • if you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     

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