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Humorous

  • I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

    ~ Robert Downey, Jr. - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If you're in a bad situation, don't worry, it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry, it'll change.

    ~ John A Simone Sr. 1932 - 1996 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If you speak when you’re angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

    ~ Albert Einstein 1879 - 1955 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

    ~ Charles Barkley - Posted By: Bill C

     
  • Hooray for most things!

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     

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