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Humorous

  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Look at me. Worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

    ~ S.J. Perelan 1904 - 1979 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Let’s have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

    ~ Robert Downey, Jr. - Posted By: anonymous

     

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